“I’m so familiar with this aching in my chest that when it’s not there,
I don’t feel like myself.
Sometimes when I’m around friends I catch myself laughing along with their jokes,
Smiling like everybody else.
We’re all breathing the same way.
But when I go home,
The sun goes down and I lay in bed,
I still feel that ache,
I’ve gotten so used to it that when it’s not there my mind drifts and I find myself looking back through old sad memories just so it will come back.
Sometimes I question whether I actually want to get better.
Certain types of pain can be so addictive.”—i let that aching in my chest consume me (via iclungtoy0u)